http://nostalgicbehavior.tumblr.com/

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Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:59:33 -0400

blueeyesandwhitelies: that’s the perfect description of me

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:55:47 -0400

blueeyesandwhitelies:

that’s the perfect description of me

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Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:49:52 -0400

fawun:

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:42:33 -0400

fawun:

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Wed, 20 Jun 2012 00:41:58 -0400

I woke up this morning thinking about how lazy I’ve become. I stopped working out, stopped...

Tue, 19 Jun 2012 10:28:49 -0400

I woke up this morning thinking about how lazy I’ve become. I stopped working out, stopped doing my nails like I used to, and stopped reading. I need to get on a roll.

i think those who experience so much pain in the end are the happiest. because when something good happens to them, they know to appreciate it because they've gone through so much.

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 21:15:30 -0400

fuckyeahitssummeralexis:

i dunno

I wouldn't say I'm in love with my boyfriend, or would I?

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 21:01:00 -0400

I love him, but do I know when I’m in love? There are things about him that you would have to look hard to find in guys these days. He’s okay that I’m a virgin, and as tempting as it is for both of us, he urges me to wait. He’s sweet and he risks a whole lot for me. He gave up smoking for me and he even admitted that I’ve “changed” him. Because of me, he said, he’s focusing better in school and he’s not trying to impress these other irrelevant people. I even made his vocabulary better, haha. And I will admit, he changed me too. He made me more open to express my feelings towards him, because in past relationships, I was just “the girl he was dating”. To him, I am his queen. And he is my king. This is cliche, but it is true. We get mad at each other a whole lot, but our arguments are over serious issues. We have countless insiders and our jokes on each other are oh-so corny. Nah, I’m not in love with the kid, but it’s getting pretty close. It feels great to have someone who cares so deeply about you. Someone who loves you and doesn’t care about your flaws. Someone who is so goddamn attractive and can find someone else in this world who’s better looking and is willing to give “it” up within .5 seconds, but they chose you. Someone who’s a complete opposite, but connect with such passion and understanding. Maybe I am in love with him…

If you ask me about my insecurities, I think the list wouldn’t be big, but it wouldn’t...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 20:58:44 -0400

If you ask me about my insecurities, I think the list wouldn’t be big, but it wouldn’t be little either. I think my forehead is huge and unattractive, my hair isn’t as healthy as it used to be, no matter how many times I try to help it, my nose is weird like a pig’s nose, I’m skinny with a huge ass, my breasts are tiny, my teeth aren’t the straightest, my voice is deep and nasally. I look in the mirror everyday and look at the things I hate on my body and compare them to the ups on myself. Like, my eyes, they’re a pretty round shape. My hairs natural and that gives me a variety of things I can do to it. My ass is round and toned, so it my stomach, with abs. And my lips are full and kissable. And my smile is beautiful. So even though I might not be the prettiest to most, I’m gorgeous to myself, flaws included. Society is so based on looks that girls would do anything to impress others. Focus on what you like and do things that make yourself attractive to you, and I guarantee you will feel 10,000 times better.

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Mon, 18 Jun 2012 20:47:41 -0400

Everybody changes. To say you haven’t would be a lie. Like, you change two ways: for better or...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 20:40:07 -0400

Everybody changes. To say you haven’t would be a lie. Like, you change two ways: for better or for worse. You can change because someone hurt you, influenced you, or because you need to. People physically change, through growth, mentality, or appearance. Some change their outlook on life, love, etc. EVERYONE changes in some shape or form. I’ve changed alot growing up. I’ve had my phases of wanting and yearning to be liked by the people surrounding me. I thought I needed people to accept me, needed people to want to be my friends. I dressed like everyone else, did my hair like everyone else, and did stupid shit that everyone thought was “cool”. I dissed the things I liked when my friends didn’t like them. I was lead into peer pressure and started smoking and disobeying my elders. I committed crimes and didn’t give a fuck about my education. But then something hit me, it was like God suddenly woke me up, slapped me in the face, and said “straighten up.” I realized that I didn’t need society’s approval and that half the shit I was doing wasn’t even “cool”. It was stupid and I was stupid for falling into the trap. I stopped hanging out with the people who were bringing me down and found myself a small circle that was there to help me get on the right path. I dressed how I wanted, and stated what I knew was right. I said “no” to stupid things like marijuana, hallucinates, wild parties, sex, and other obnoxious things and focused on becoming a better person. Not just for me, but for my true friends who loved me and my family who was there for me since day 1. People called me lame, wack, corny, a goody-goody, a geek, nerd. But I was living a better life through God, and I was proud of myself. So fuck what anybody says about you. Change for the better, because sometimes change is good. Like I’ve said… everybody changes. It’s your choice on how you do it.

Being strong minded can be so hard at times. It’s like you’ve got this permanent guard up to protect...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:21:21 -0400

Being strong minded can be so hard at times. It’s like you’ve got this permanent guard up to protect yourself from getting hurt, to be able to stick to what you believe in, and to not let petty things bother you. But sometimes there’s just that one person who knows exactly how to tear that guard down, piece by piece, completely. And the thing is, they don’t even know that they’re doing. In fact, it’s not them doing it. Want to know how? Because the person you’re blaming doesn’t even talk to you anymore. You never see them, and when you do they act as if you don’t exist, or it’s out of pity. You do it to yourself. You’re letting someone in who isn’t even willing to be there anymore. You’re tearing yourself apart, crying every night over them, thinking about them all the time, and straining yourself with depression, all because of them. Well guess what, lovely? You don’t need them. Any one stupid enough to not want to see that beautiful smile everyday doesn’t deserve to. It doesn’t matter how much you love a person, if they can hurt you without even doing anything, then you need to move on. Easier said than done, I know. But you have to let someone who actually deserves you in. So, yeah, build that wall back up, not to high though. And just be patient. Patience is a virtue.

Whenever I think that something good is about to possibly happen, it gets fucked up to the 10th...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:19:10 -0400

Whenever I think that something good is about to possibly happen, it gets fucked up to the 10th degree. This is why I hate being optimistic, even when I have a reason to. Because then with optimism comes expectations, and extreme disappointment, and just total bullshit. I never expect anything out of anyone anymore, because honestly… It’s impossible to even trust anyone nowadays. I usually hate when people say that, But it’s actually true the more that I think about it. Trust comes with expectations as well. And with that, of course… Comes being let down.

I’ve come to realize how hard it is to not categorize every male that you come across as the same...

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:18:04 -0400

I’ve come to realize how hard it is to not categorize every male that you come across as the same type as the last guy that has hurt you. It’s hard to bring down that wall, and to give them a chance because you’re afraid of being hurt again. But, knowing me, I’m not the type to base my past relationships and encounters with men on who I’m currently talking to. I always give them a first chance. I open up mentally, and let them get a piece of my mind and maybe even my heart. And, the same thing is always said to me. “You’re different from any female that I’ve ever met. I like it”. Or something along those lines. And I do pride myself in that. When I get to know people, I don’t talk about my favorite color or what I like to do for fun. I actually talk about things with deep substance. But, I like to keep them on their feet. I like them to be intrigued. And it works. It really does. It’s sometimes even a natural connection. But, this is were it gets tricky. Guys tend to become infatuated with me because of this. I mean, they’ve just met me, they find me to be beautiful, with intellect, and they’re interested. This just happened recently, in fact. Friday night leading onto Saturday morning. I sat in his car for hours, literally. From 4 in the morning to 9 in the morning, talking about life, and what not. And he was attracted to me. I don’t know, he claims to have been drunk. But, he had been driving all over town before we even parked in my driveway, and he was obviously 110 percent sober. I didn’t get out, because I felt like we deserved to actually get to know each other, I was interested. And we did. See, when I first met him formally. I had my guard up. I was very blunt, and could answer any question he had in milliseconds, That’s how sure of myself I was. And that’s how I wanted him to look at me as. But, as soon as I took my guard down, he started to pick at my brain and actually made me think about the things we were talking about. I loved it. He was in so into me, it was crazy. He’d keep telling me how much he didn’t want to stop looking at me, and how he wanted to have my figured out because I was so different. And I’d smile, and it’d just be a heart warming feeling of knowing that someone actually thought that I was attractive and interesting. But, the tables turned quick. He began to think about me sexually. I mean, I don’t blame him. I was doing the same thing. That’s just what happens when you’re not only physically but mentally attracted to someone. You’d think the sex would be amazing, right? So, That was that. And he started to get really close to my face. He’d rub his cheeks against mine, to see if I’d be comfortable. And honestly, in the past before we really knew each other, I was comfortable with him from the get-go. Which is honestly rare. I was myself 110 percent. I wasn’t shy nor awkward. I was natural. But, after a couple more stares, and few more conversations, next thing you know… His lips were all over my body. His hands were down my back, and behind my neck. I felt it all over. Goosebumps from the tips of my toes going up. Believe me. The situation in my underwear was ocean like. To much information? No. And that was honestly when I knew, “I have got to have this man. It’s only right”. Time went by, and we eventually started talking about being together. That quick, yes. I know. He thought that I would mind that he’s 5 years older than me. But, I didn’t at all. And I honestly took him seriously with everything that he had said that night. I left the car hours later, smitten. Just entirely happy. I’d never felt so happy in such a long time. Until my sister got home, and she showed me text messages that he’d sent her only a little while after he’d drove off. Telling my SISTER how much he had a crush on her, and how he’s always wanted her, and how beautiful he thought she was, and how he’s always wanted to show her off to everyone. But he couldn’t because, ya know… She’s dating his best friend. He then mentioned how he was “drunk” and only kissed me a few times.. Honestly, I wanted to cry, I wanted to pull the cover back over my head, and just bawl my eyes out. My feelings were so hurt. I didn’t tell my sister. I had to act like I didn’t care so that I never got the “I told ya so” speech. But I just laughed and said “wow”. Then, when I talked to him again.. He cancelled our movie date, and told me that none of that was real. And the only thing that was genuine was getting to know me. And that he’s always wanted my sister, and that he was out of hand. You don’t understand how hard I had to hold in those tears, because he wasn’t worth it. So, I simply told him “Alright”. Nothing else. Just “Alright”. I wanted to pour my heart out to him, and tell him how hurt I was. But, I didn’t, I couldn’t. I had opened up to him before, and look where it got me. Hurt. But, my point is, this is why people don’t like giving first chances. This is why people base their past experiences on their current ones. Trying to be optimistic about such things is just bullshit. It really is. But, despite how many times I’ve been hurt, I’ll never be that girl who’s a “bitch” because she’s been torn apart by men, well, boys, so many times. My heart is too big and I have no room for hate. So, I’ll continue to be the girl who’s too loving. And I’ll continue to be humble about whatever situation. Nothing will ever change me and make me vain or bitter towards men. I suppose.

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Mon, 18 Jun 2012 17:11:47 -0400

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Thu, 14 Jun 2012 18:07:24 -0400

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Thu, 14 Jun 2012 18:05:21 -0400

sourdieselsweetheart: The way the universe resembles a brain cell makes me think there’s a much...

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 18:04:56 -0400

sourdieselsweetheart:

The way the universe resembles a brain cell makes me think there’s a much more kick ass story than “god said ‘let there be light.”

I never heard the part of the story where the god you’re referring to created dinosaurs or mars or black holes that’s why
It would’ve been much more interesting if you would’ve said our universe was a brain cell of god

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Thu, 14 Jun 2012 18:04:36 -0400

And ultimately, they find out everything: How you chew, how you sip, how you hum, how you dance. How...

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 11:59:00 -0400

And ultimately, they find out everything: How you chew, how you sip, how you hum, how you dance. How you smell at every point in the day, how you are on the phone with your mother, the fact that many of your friends are shallow, that you always have to sit on the aisle, how you never really listen, how whiny you get when you travel, how you’re not gracious to her friends when they call, how certain game shows make you really really happy, how cranky you get because you’re too stupid to remember to eat, how you manage to get confrontational only when it’s with the absolute wrong person to be yelling at, how you don’t like the way you look in any picture you’ve taken since 1973, how you’re unable to get off the phone when you’re running late because you don’t have the ability to say, “This isn’t a good time; can I call you back?” How you have to lick certain fruits before actually eating them, how you have no ability to save receipts - all these things, and they still want to sign on. They still like you. -Paul Reiser